Hello, hello!!
I'm freezing cold right now, my tea is brewing.. so this will be quick.
I have let myself go. I feel horrible about it! (Not just emotionally, but physically also) I mean for the last 5 days or so, I have been chowing down on pretty much anything and everything. Went to Olive Garden, then to Applebee's, then had pizza, then had more (delicious) junk that I can't even recall (all spread out over several days). I mean, I kept trying to stop myself and eat right... but it didn't work out so well....
Here is me feeling really fat : (
Here is me feeling really fat : (
I have been too scared to weigh myself, cause I know I gained weight, and I didn't wanna see how high the numbers got.
Also, my BM's got messed up. I was no longer going as often nor as abundantly. I do NOT want to go back to my old ways.
So, this morning, I weighed myself. The scale showed 173.2. Less than I expected, but way more than I wanted.
So I "vowed" to myself that I need to lose as much weight as possible for my Thursday weigh in. That gives me 2 days. How am I gonna do it? Well, I'm not sure, but I am gonna try..
Tuesday and Wednesday, my goal is to not have ANY food except for RAW food! This is the evening of Tuesday, and I am very proud of myself. I have not eaten anything except raw today. I feel good. Physically and emotionally. Don't get me wrong, I had my temptations. At work today. they offered to buy me lunch from some Hawaiian place. It was hard, but I said, "No thanks, I'll just eat my salad." And I did.
When I got home, my family was eating fresh, delicious chicken noodle soup. I ALMOST put it in my mouth, but I did not.. just had more salad...
Now I am sitting here, while my family is having sweets with their evening tea.. I will have walnuts and dates with my tea. I love that snack. SO delicious!!
I will weigh myself again tomorrow to see how much I lost in just one day. Hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised...
Till my next blog...
Well. I guess this is Thursday, huh? And Thursdays ARE my "official" weigh-in days. So I have to tell you what I weighed this morning, even though I really do not want to.
Yes, I gained weight. I know. Don't hate me. I'm already depressed about it.
From Sunday till Monday, we had a camp out at my sister Alyona's house.
As fun as it was (and it was VERY fun) deep down, I kept thinking.. "I'm gonna gain weight, I'm gonna gain weight". Why? Cause her house is full of goodies. And of course, I like goodies. So even though I tried to hold myself back and control what went into my mouth, I knew that I had "splurged" and would be paying for it.Come Tuesday, I get on the scale and what do I see? Numbers that I never wanted to see again. I saw 171.8 which meant that I had gained 2.2 additional pounds. Not good. Not good at all.
So I have been trying harder these last few days. Eating more RAW, but eating less in general. Today, on my "official" weigh-in, I weighed in at 171.2. Still way higher than I want, but less than on Tuesday. Less is better in this case.
I have been really stressed out lately.I've been working on a super important presentation at work (my brain is like totally used up.. lol) but then when I get home, I still wanna have fun, so we end going to bed really late. Then getting up really early and the cycle continues. Plus, I am eating salty foods, so I am retaining water. I believe these also play a huge role in my weight gain.
But I am not giving up. Gonna keep trying.
Finally, my awesome friend Anna and I were able to go out on a lunch date. Haven't seen her in like forever.
After a long discussion, we decided on going to Olive Garden.
I wanted to eat the "right" way, but still enjoy my very 1st outing to a restaurant. So, I got their unlimited salad
which was way awesome,
and 1/2 a Steak and Portobello Mushroom Pannini. The grilled sandwich was made from grilled sliced steak with balsamic onions, portobello mushrooms and asiago cheese with a sun-dried tomato and herb spread.
DELICIOUS!!
That was an absolutely amazing meal! Tasted SO good AND it hit all the "spots", but yet, I did not have to feel guilty. It was a great outing. Anna is always such a pleasant person to be with. Love her positive outlook and her sweet kindness!
After my lunch date, I went back to work for a few more long, stressful hours.. then came home and am enjoying my family and just being able to relax.
Hoping to lose weight and not gain it... that's the goal.
This post was written Sunday, November 6th.. but I did not actually post it until today, Wednesday November the 9th...
I guess it's time for a much needed update. It's always a surprise to me when people contact me and actually ask for an update since I haven't blogged for a few days. That's really nice. I didn't know that many people cared or read my blog. So it's a great surprise, motivates me to try just a bit harder so that when I do update, I won't disappoint or gross people out. Lol
So now for the update. It has now been 5 whole days since I have been eating. I would say about 85% - 90% of it has been RAW. Either fruits, veggies, or salads. I started adding some regular food back in, such as smoked Salmon (this has been the food I absolutely crave the most!!), chicken, had an egg yesterday, and every once in awhile, if someone is eating something yummy, but not so healthy, I'll sneak a small taste of it.
This fish was SO AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS!!! It lasted me a few days (don't worry, I shared).. and I was very, very sad when it was all gone.
For the most part, even though my conscience seems to always feel guilty, I'd say that I am doing quite well. Not as well as I should be, but well enough I guess. This 1st week of food, I kinda let myself go enjoy and the foods that I've been missing (in moderation). I have been swollen a lot due to the amount of fish that I have been eating (makes me drink lots of water cause of the salt).
My last weigh in was yesterday. I was scared. I was sure the results on the scale were gonna make me depressed, but I was quite surprised to see 169.6 on it. If any of you remember (I didn't, had to go look it up) the lowest weight I got to during my fast/cleanse was 163.8 and that was right when I was done with my 10 days of water fasting. As soon as I started drinking broth/juice again, my weight started going up (which was expected, but unpleasant). When my full 40 days of juicing were over, I weighed in at 168.0 (which was a 4.2 pound gain since the water fast).
Since my 40 days were done and over with and I have been eating for 5 days, I only gained 1.6 pounds back!!! That is such an amazing, pleasant surprise to me!! For some reason, I thought I was gaining so much weight back and becoming quite depressed about it. But now that I figured out my numbers, I am very happy. Yes, I know that I have gained and not lost, but that was to be expected the 1st week back to eating.. And that's with me letting myself indulge in yumminess that I have missed.
Come Monday (tomorrow) I wanna have more of a "set" plan of how/what I will be eating. Gonna try to figure that out today and go do some food shopping.
We've spent a lot of time with Valik and Jenni Rudd this weekend. Not only was it lots of fun, but it has been very helpful too. They are done juicing also and are onto RAW food now, so talking to them, eating some of their RAW yumminess has giving me quite a lot of great ideas and support as to what I can make and actually enjoy... Without feeling guilty!!
Valik has been posting some great recipes/videos that are really helpful to watch, so make sure you check out his website www.geekgrass.com
I hope to be able to update a little more often and with some weight loss numbers in the near future!! Thanks for your support and encouragement!!
By the way, for all of you who were wondering... Lol... I talked quite openly on here about my BM issues.. The fact that I don't usually "go". Well, I am VERY happy to report: since I have been back on food this week, I have gone every single day!! Easily!! Abundantly!! And like on a schedule. It has been so great not to feel clogged or have to figure out what kind of laxative I should take. I think this is really due to the fact that I cleaned out nicely during my fast/cleanse and also to the fact that I am eating so much raw fiber. This has been one of the best benefits! I am so thankful!!!!
I also want to add that before my juicing fast, I got headaches/migraines CONSTANTLY. I had several severe ones per week. I took lots of Tylenol & Excedrin. Well, during my fast, I only had a few minor headaches due to detox and stuff. Since I have been done juicing, I have had to take Tylenol 2 times. I know, I was shocked that my head hurt, but it did. I tried to hold off of the pain pills.. but finally gave in. I am really hoping that my headaches will not come back. But I can't be sure about that.
I am still avoiding all caffeine. I used to be an addict. The last week we have been going to bed SUPER late and getting up SUPER early, and still I am able to function absolutely perfect without any caffeine. That to me is super duper awesome!! To be honest, I do miss the taste of coffee (with lots of cream), but I am too afraid to give in and have even a sip. I do NOT want to rely on caffeine again. That was very annoying before.
So far, everything is going great!!
So. Eating is not as exciting as it seemed when I couldn't do it. But isn't that how it always is? We always want what we can't have. The grass is greener on the other side.. you get what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be done with my juicing faze..
I'm not quite sure what to eat. I am supposed to be on a Raw Diet for a few days. That's not working out so well for me (I keep sneaking in regular food)
Last night, for dessert, I made myself a yummy smoothie. It was good, but the kids ate most of it... lol..
I ate apples, bananas, peas, carrots, that sort of thing. But non of it was hitting THE spot. You know? Like, I was full, but I was still yearning for something at the same time. I hate that feeling. So my husband, being as awesome as he is : ) Went and did some grocery shopping, then came home and prepared everything I needed for some raw burritos/tacos that I was gonna copy from Valik. I wasn't too excited (I mean, its just a bunch of raw veggies)... but to my great surprise, the burritos turned out to taste REALLY good!! That made me happy.
He chopped up all the necessary ingredients (you can get the list off Valik's page)
Then we piled it all onto a lettuce leaf
and topped it with some taco sauce
I think this will be something that I will have again... and again... and again... BUT next time, I WILL leave out the zucchini. For some reason, I am just really not liking the zucchini at this point in time. Not sure what it is... but you can always play around with the ingredients...
At work today... I snuck in some good food. I mean, really, really good food. I bummed some Thai food from Monica.. it was just a few small pieces of chicken and some really spicy veggies, but boy, it was so delicious!!! Made me real happy (a little worried, cause I'm not sure what my stomach can take at this point in time).. then, right before lunch ended.. Cassie shared a cookie with me. I haven't had a cookie, or anything close to a cookie, in OVER 40 days. It too was a very delicious treat!! Great lunch today!!
For dinner we had some more raw burritos. All of us were eating them. I had it all set up and ready for each child, and my youngest looked at it and said "Mama, how do we eat this?" It was such a "true" question. I just laughed and told him we would just have to figure it out. It went ok. They all go it down, even said how good it was. But none of the boys asked for seconds.. lol...
After dinner, they all sat down to enjoy some ice cream. We haven't had ice cream in a really long time. Its the cheap brand from Walmart, but it had great ingredients in it.
My 6 year old said that I could have the ice cream seeing how it is not cooked, thus it is raw, and I am on a raw diet right now. I love the way kids think. I consulted with Jenni of course, and she said that I could try just a little, and if I feel fine, then I am good to go. Well, I had a little. Man! It was amazing ice cream! It was so nice to be able to sit there and actually enjoy food with my family again. I've missed that.
I am really worried/depressed about gaining the weight back. Every time I have tried a diet, as soon as I was off, I would gain the weight back plus some. So I am really worried this time. Tomorrow will be my 1st weigh in since starting to eat real food. I am freaking out about it, but I am sure hoping I will be pleased with what I see.
I will just have to monitor my weight and as soon as it goes up or stalls for too long, I will definitely have to evaluate what I am doing.
I will leave you now with my most recent pictures. I hope I never gain the weight back, cause I am really enjoying being "skinny"..
My 40 days of juicing/cleansing/fasting are finally over!
Overall the cleanse was good. I felt great, wasn't too hungry. I would definitely consider doing it again (maybe not so long) and would for sure recommend it to anyone who wants to try it.
I had a very, very sad, depressing morning today. Last night, I only had a few hours left to complete my 40 days, and I screwed up. I don't know what happened (lol, yes I do)... I ended up eating quite a big chunk of smoked fish that my dad made. It was absolutely the most amazing food ever!!! It felt great while I was eating it, but this morning, a totally different story. Physically I felt fine. But emotionally I was a wreck. I felt like such a loser for not lasting the last few hours. I was quite depressed for a few hours... but thankfully, I slowly started calming down.
For breakfast I had an apple. Nothing special. I'm not a big apple fan. For lunch I had some sugar snap peas. Those were really good. Then I had a banana... then I munched on the sugar snap peas. Then I had a carrot. I know it sounds like I was eating all day, but I really wasn't. There were moments when I was starving hungry, and it didn't matter how much of my raw stuff I ate, nothing hit the spot. I hate that.
I got home, and just devoured the rest of my smoked fish. OMG!!! SO freaking good!! But now I don't have anymore... so not sure what I'm gonna do... lol
I gotta figure out what to eat tomorrow so that it is raw/healthy fruits/veggies but not boring... gotta go surf the net now for ideas. Got any good ones? Oh please, do share!
So there you have it. I completed my 40 day journey. I guess if I was being graded, I would say I'd get probably 95% out of 100%. Not too bad, could have done better, but this is the best I have ever done on any diet!!
I have went from a size 12 to a size 10. From 192.0 pounds to 168.0 pounds (which is 24 pounds lost). And I have lost lots of inches all over my body. So I would have to say that the result are great.
Now I gotta figure out what to eat to lose the additional 13 pounds I need to lose and then to actually never gain weight back.. This will be a hard journey. Hopefully God will bless me and give me success with it.
Thank you all for all the support and the motivation. Please continue to be supportive and give me great ideas on what to do lifestyle wise. I don't wanna diet anymore. I just want to have a really healthy lifestyle.
I will continue to update on here periodically, and hopefully it will be good, happy updates!!
