Comment posted by: Anonymous
On: December 2, 2011 2:42 AM
It takes a lot of courage to publicly admit failure. Understandably, you are upset, but you shouldn't kick yourself, or feel ashamed. It's not your fault. Dieting is like holding your breath, it's not sustainable. There was no way you could keep it up.
While I enjoyed reading your blog, there is a lot of negativity and self-hate. :( You must learn to feel good about yourself.
Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed reading my blog. I do admit to having negativity towards myself, but only when it comes to my weight. I have tried, and keep trying to feel good about myself, but its not so easy for me just yet...
For many people, their stable weight is higher than what the TV would have you believe is "normal". It's programmed in your DNA, and the harder you try to deviate from it, the harder you will bounce back. I'm heavier than average - and so is my mom, several of my siblings, and many cousins. We can be healthy, but we cannot naturally be skinny - our genetic blueprints won't allow it.
I do understand what you are saying... but I have been skinnier before, thus I have faith that I should be able to get there again... I just need to get my head straight and quit quitting... I'm not trying to be super model thin, just pleasantly thin...
You seem to desperately want to lose weight. Why? Are you doing it for your husband, Jenni, the bathroom scale?
I am desperate to lose weight, and I don't hide the fact. Why? Because I do not like the extra fat that I am carrying. I do not like having to stand in front of my closet every morning thinking "What clings less to me? What shows the least amount of bulge & rolls? What can I use as a "fat cover"? What pants will not give me a muffin top?
I am doing this for me. I want to be happy with myself. I want to look in the mirror & like what I see. I want to be able to wear anything I want and look and feel great in it. I want to feel comfortable around people, to be myself, and not have to be self conscious the whole time, wondering what needs to be adjusted where to hide the most fat.
The bathroom scale can't tell the difference between muscle, bone, or fat. It can't tell whether you're fit or not. It doesn't know that you're a beautiful person.
Your husband sounds like a good man. Does he ever complain about your weight? My guess is, he doesn't. I'll tell you a secret: big women can be sexy. Their curves can drive their husbands mad with desire. It's not about the weight, it's all about proper distribution (ask your hubby if he thinks your breasts are too big). Do a little exercise to maintain the waistline and keep the arms and thighs firm. By the way, the best form of exercise is lovemaking: you get a cardio workout while having lots of fun with your husband! ;o)
My husband is an amazing man! I am absolutely blessed and thankful to have him! No, he doesn't complain about my weight. He just listens to me complain about it & then tries to make me believe that it's not that big of an issue. To me, it is.
One thing that does turn men off, is when the woman deprecates herself. Don't ever call yourself fat, or lazy, or weak. Especially not in front of him. Positive thinking goes a long way. Look at yourself in the mirror, the whole of you (your husband sees you this way, he doesn't fixate on the parts like women tend to do). Marvel at how wonderfully God made you.
I know God made me. And I know He made me wonderfully and I am very thankful for the way He made me. BUT I made myself fat. I chose to stuff my face with junk non stop. God did make me wonderfully, but I seem to have "ruined" His design and now I am trying to fix it...
The way to live a healthy lifestyle, is to make small changes, and enjoy the process. Eat food that is both delicious and good for you. Go to bed early. Try different activities to find the ones that work for you, and to keep things from getting boring. Tennis, swimming, running, walking, hiking, biking, skiing, martial arts. You get the idea.
Be happy, my sister. :)
Thank you for the time you spent writing this. I don't know who you are, but your words really did mean a lot to me. I ponder on them often. I am trying to learn to be happy with myself, but every morning its the same issue...trying to find clothes to be happy in.
I don't hate myself. Nor do I hate life. I really do enjoy my life, I just think that if I were able to lose these last 20 pounds, I would be able to enjoy my life much more. I would be healthier & happier... I will not stop trying...