Still Trying, But Disappointed
Wow! It feels like it’s been forever since I updated. I have so much on my mind. Don’t know if I’ll have the time to write it all down. I wish I could update every hour... lol... but that’s pretty much impossible and I’m sure nobody is interested in reading about my life with hour upon hour updates…

Let’s see. The weekend was great. I had LOTS of great family time (not just with my own personal little family, but also with my parents, my siblings and their families).  I love spending time with my family. There’s not much that I find to be more fun. I’m glad we grew up as a close-knit family... Hope it always stays that way.

I got to admit, my eating wasn’t the best, but I don’t think it was overly horrible either. We went out to Tomato Street on Sunday for lunch. It was SO delicious!! But I think it sabotaged my efforts quite a lot because it was ALL carbs!!

But still. I thought I was doing pretty well. I have been exercising 6 day a week for I think 2 weeks straight. But Tuesday came, and I was SO SUPER disappointed! I seriously just wanted to cry and just absolutely give up. It all just seems so pointless. All this effort that I’m putting into this weight loss of mine, and all I keep doing is GAINING weight!! It’s so frustrating!

I haven’t given an actual updated weight number on here for a while because I am so embarrassed... but I guess it’s time. Tuesday I weighed in at 189.4. That puts me at a total of 11 pounds gained BACK. Basically 5 more pounds and I’m right back where I started in January of this year. I’ve already tried like 5 different diets this year alone and it seems like it’s all for nothing.  Does anyone else have this problem, or am I the only one?

I really want to stop exercising. It stresses me out so bad. I dread doing it. I like the DVD, I LOVE the fact that the workout takes less than 30 minutes (I just keep telling myself that it’s only 20 minutes) and I KNOW that it really works out my body. The different levels that you have to do, works out all sorts of different muscles so that you are not huge in one area and tiny in another. It makes you evenly worked out & toned. I know its working. I can feel muscles getting harder… but I just hate having to do it. ESPECIALLY since the scale keeps going up instead of down. I keep thinking to myself that I should get rid of all this fat first and THEN start exercising cause then I would actually be able to SEE results.

I guess I am really disappointed because I can’t SEE the results. I feel them and I know they are there, but I don’t SEE them with my eyes and so it makes me doubt the fact that it’s worth it. I want instant gratification, and I’m not getting it.

Ok. So YOUR job for this post is to MOTIVATE me! Lol. I know. I sound lame. But really, I need someone to TALK ME INTO CONTINUING TO EXERCISE!! Tell me that it REALLY is WORKING even if I don’t see it! Tell me that it’s worth it...  I look forward to hearing from you ; )

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  • About Me

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    Spokane, WA, United States
    I am blessed to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mom to 3 amazing boys!! God has blessed me and I am forever grateful! My 1 struggle in life has been my weight... its a hard burden to carry.


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