Failure
I failed. Again. I feel so grossed out with myself.

Why is this so hard for me!? I just don't get it. It's like I'm destined to be fat forever. I sure hope not.

My 1st day of this "test" I did REALLY great! I weighed myself the day after, and I had lost 1.6 pounds!! In ONE day! On day 2.. I couldn't resist. We went to my parents house, and my mom had baked her DELICIOUS cake thingy. It was SO good! I gave in and had 1 piece.... then another one... and another one. I ended up chowing down 3 pieces of cake. Ugh! I felt so disgusted with myself!

Then evening rolled around.. and I had a YUMMY M&M cookie.. 

So this morning,  the scale showed that I gained back the 1.6 and ANOTHER .2 on TOP of that!! UGH!!! YUCK!!

I just don't know what is wrong with me!! 

Something I heard on the Christian radio once keeps running through my head. DISCIPLINE. When I think of discipline, I think of raising kids and making them behave the way we want them to. It never occurred to me that adults need discipline. So I've been "chewing" on the idea that I do not have the discipline I need to succeed in my weight loss. I just give up too easily. I need to work on that...


I'm trying.. and I won't give up. I have to keep fighting this "Battle of the Bulge".
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Day 1 of Test
The last few weeks, I have not been overly horrible with my regular eating, but I have been exteremly horrible with eating sweets. I've been eating tons of sugar in forms ranging from honey, to soda, to ice cream, to cakes, candies, cookies... pretty much anything sweet, I've eaten in the last few weeks. I have gained back 8 pounds. In my previous post, I think I said I gained 7 pounds, but I went back and checked, and it really is 8 pounds.
ANYWAY. I decided to run a trial and see how my body reacts. Starting today, I will have no sugar in any form. And I will drink nothing but water and green tea (with nothing added). Maybe some lemon in my drinks. I will eat my regular way. The only thing I am changing is my sugar intake. I want to see what my body will do. I am REALLY hoping to see at least a 5 pound loss within the week. 

As always, as soon as I decide to make some changes in my eating, the temptations just start poring in. It's horrible. Thank God though, I was able to withstand all of them today. We had a bbq at work with a huge chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. I wanted it. But I didn't have it. Also, there were cases of soda. I wanted some. But I didn't have any.

I felt SO good for not giving in. It actually was not as hard as I thought it would be.

So day one of my test is over. And I passed 100%!! I'm so happy!! We'll see how day 2 goes..
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My Latest Weigh In
I haven't had the time nor the energy to update lately... (and really, I have been very disappointed in myself and I didn't want to share it with the world). But today, I decided to finally share.

I am not sure what has happened, but over the last few weeks, I have just let myself "go". I have not tried to diet at all.. well.. every once in a while, I'll "be careful"... but not really.. so every Thursday, the scale would go up.. up.. up..


Well.. today I got on and the scale read 185.0 I was shocked!! But I wasn't too surprised cause really, deep down, I knew it was coming. My clothes have been fitting me worse and worse.. I can't even wear some outfits anymore cause they just don't fit. It's horrible!


I have gained back 7 pounds now. That is so much! It takes me so long to lose that and now its just back. I think I might cry. But that won't do me any good.


I have trying to figure out "what will work for me"... and I'm still working on it. The new month starts in just a few days, so I am hoping to start my new lifestyle right around then.


Please give me any ideas. How did you lose weight? What worked for you? What would you recommend for me??
HELP!!
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Too Long
I know. It seems like its been forever. I'm still alive and kicking ; )

Lately, I've been too busy & too stressed out.. way too many things going on.. Not bad... just a lot.... I haven't had time to get on here and  update..

I'm getting fat again. It totally sucks.... I keep thinking... "today  I'll start trying again..." but so far, that has not happened. I'm getting worried.... 

I think so far I have gained back 5 pounds.. doesn't sound like a big number.. but I had to work so hard to lose those 5 pounds. It's horrible that they are back on...  


Ugh... one of these days.. I will start trying again....

 
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  • About Me

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    Spokane, WA, United States
    I am blessed to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mom to 3 amazing boys!! God has blessed me and I am forever grateful! My 1 struggle in life has been my weight... its a hard burden to carry.

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