Weigh In Yet Again
This morning I felt skinny (I don’t get it often, but I LOVE that feeling!!). I think  its cause yesterday I tried REALLY hard to eat VERY little. Up until yesterday my eating has been horrible, but yesterday I portioned my food very carefully and ate only what I portioned out. Don’t get me wrong, I would have LOVED to eat more… but I just didn’t let myself. And even though right after I finished my portion I still felt hungry, I told myself that if I am still truly hungry in 20-30 minutes, I could eat more. But after some time went by, I was no longer hungry at all.

That to me was a revelation. I realized that I CAN survive with little amounts of food. I’m always afraid that if I don’t stuff myself uncomfortably full that I will be hungry in just a little bit. But I now know that I can eat little meals, drink lots of fluids, and I will survive!!

So even though I felt thinner this morning than I have in a long time, the scale didn’t agree with me. I weighed in at 190.2. I was disappointed, but I didn’t hate myself. I didn’t get depressed. I just told myself that its probably fluff/water weight from all the crappy, salty food I’ve been eating the last week or so. I know that if I continue to eat the way I did yesterday, I will start dropping pounds. I just got to stick to it!

So my current goal is still to get to 187.8. I just have not been able to get there. Maybe by next Thursday I will lose 2.4 and finally reach my goal… but who knows. My sisters birthday is this weekend… it’ll be a huge celebration. I just hope I am able to stop myself from gorging everything sight.
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Nothing Exciting
So last week when I weighed in on Thursday I was thrilled. I weighed in at 188.4, which meant that I only had to lose 0.6 oz to reach my goal of 187.8. I was really motivated & excited... for a little bit anyway.

Then reality set in. I just went crazy with food. It makes me disgusted to even think about, not to mention write about how my eating was for a few days. It all seems a blur right now. I don’t know what happened, but I feel like I ate everything in sight.

On Sunday we took a day trip to Seattle. The day itself was absolutely amazing! I had so much fun; I can’t even put it into words… We took the boys to the Lego store, they got to play there & pick out Lego's that they wanted to bring home with them. They really enjoyed that.

Me… well… let’s just say I got “spoiled”. I FINALLY got to go to a real Coach store. Here in Spokane, we don’t have a Coach Store. The closest we get is Macy’s carrying a few Coach purses and that’s it.

Anyway… I went all out & bought 2 Coach purses & a wallet… I was so happy I think I shrieked with excitement when I left the store!

So the day was great, but deep down I was really feeling horrible about my eating. We stopped for breakfast. I wasn’t hungry, but I ate. We went out to lunch with my brother & his wife. I wasn’t hungry, but I stuffed myself. Later on, after shopping, my sister-in-law & I went out for dessert. Once again I wasn’t hungry, but I still ate a bunch of really yummy dessert. THEN after all of that… we went out to dinner. I was NOT hungry at all. Yet I ate. Then, I ordered more food. I shoved a few bites down and thought I might explode, so I threw the rest of the food away.

So here is my summary. For a few days now, I have been eating absolutely crazy horrible. Why!!?? WHY do I do this to myself!!?? I just don’t get it! I’m not hungry, but I eat. It makes me feel disgusted with myself & I vow I will never do it again. Just a few hours later (sometimes minutes) I do the same exact thing all over again. Why can’t I just get it through my head that food will always be around. If I really want something, I just need to wait till I am HUNGRY, then I can eat it, and actually ENJOY it without feeling guilty.

Am I the only one who is like this? Does anyone else have this issue or am I just absolutely messed up?? Ugh! So frustrating!

Tomorrow is my next weigh in. I’ll let you know how I did. Ultimately, I’d like to weigh in tomorrow at 187.8 or LESS!!! Preferably less ; )


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Another Disappointing Gain
So I weighed in yesterday morning (Thursday)… just didn’t have a chance to blog about it.

I was really excited, and “knew” for sure that I had lost weight & that I would be quite pleased with the numbers on the scale.

Try to understand my shock when the scale actually showed a GAIN!! I just couldn’t believe it! I had tried so hard all week, and here I was, staring at the scale as it showed me that I had gone all the way back up to 191.0. Within a week, I had gained 2 ½ pounds!! That is so not cool! No wonder my little weigh goal app on my iPhone predicted that I will never reach my goal. All I seem to be doing is GAINING weight, no matter how hard I try.

Oh well. I’m not giving up. I’m just going to keep on trying… hoping that one day all my hard work will pay off and I’ll have the body I’ve always wanted…
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Latest Weigh In
I am SO thrilled!! I have been having a hard time getting my scale to go down… but it finally did!! My most recent goal was to lose 1 pound. I wanted to go from 190.2 to 189.2. Last Thursday, February 3rd, I weighed in at 188.8. I know it’s still a huge number, but its less than I was hoping for!! I am really pleased! Not only did I reach my goal of losing 1 pound, but I surpassed it by a whole 4 ounces!! I lost 1.4 pounds for last week!! Yeah!!

My next goal is to lose another pound. I want to weigh in tomorrow morning at 187.8 or LESS!! I am really hopeful … but I think I’m having some doubts. I snuck in a “weigh in” here & there throughout the week, and have been disappointed with what I was seeing on the scale. I’m not holding my breath, but am really eager for the scale to move in the downward direction again.

I do have to admit that this week has not been one of my best dieting weeks. We have been going out quite a lot, and I really have not been listening to my body. This is unpleasant to admit, but I’ve been eating when I am absolutely NOT hungry. The foods there, the company is there, why not? I don’t even enjoy the food, but just cause its there, I’ve been eating it. Eeww. I know. I really need to work on that. If only I would listen to my body, trust it, and only feed it when it really needed it, I could be super skinny.

Oh well. I’m not letting myself get too disappointed. I know I messed up; no point in focusing on it too much. Time to learn from my mistake & move on.

Tomorrow is my next weigh in. Hopefully I’ll reach my goal and I won’t put off posting about it. I’ll let you know how it goes.
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Starting to feel hopeful...
I feel really good this morning. Proud. Hopeful. A little thinner.

Yesterday was the 1st day of February, and I must say, I did REALLY well diet wise. Not necessarily because I tried, but pretty much because I had no option. Lunch & dinner I ate what I brought with me, nothing more. So portion control was great. After dinner we went to babysit my nieces, and my sweet tooth REALLY started acting up!! I wanted sugar unbearably!!! BUT, there was none around, so I couldn’t have any. It made me a little irritated, and I thought “as soon as we get home, I’ll have some sugar.” But by the time we packed up to leave and were driving, I was SO happy that I hadn’t had sugar!

It was really nice to be able to stick to the plan, even though I was really fighting it. It worked out great (it's cool to look back & see how God worked it out) I’m really hoping that since yesterday was so good that it’ll help me to realize (and accept) that I CAN survive with limited portions and little to NO sugar… that would be awesome!

On this Naturally Slim plan that I am supposed to be following… I am not supposed to have any obvious sugar for 3 weeks. I’m going to call yesterday day 1 of the 21 days I need to be sugar free to break my addiction … I hope I can last the next 20 days. They say that after day 4, it becomes really easy. It’s the 1st few days that are awful… I’ll let you know how it goes.

Tomorrow is my official weigh in of the week. I must say, I feel a bit thinner. My pants are fitting a bit less snug. I ended January weighing 190.2 my goal for tomorrow is to weigh in at 189.0 or less… I’m really hoping for less, but I’ll be satisfied if I at least lose this 1.2 lbs. I decided to be a bit more realistic. Instead of hoping to lose all 50 pounds at one time, I’m setting smaller goals of 1 pound per week. If I can at least do that, then by the time the next New Year’s party rolls around, I should be about 50 pounds thinner! Then I can REALLY enjoy our hotel/pool party! Really looking forward to it.

I’ll let you know what I weigh in at tomorrow…
  • About Me

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    Spokane, WA, United States
    I am blessed to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mom to 3 amazing boys!! God has blessed me and I am forever grateful! My 1 struggle in life has been my weight... its a hard burden to carry.

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