Juice Cleanse Day 37
I did it!!! I did it!!! I did it!!
I did it!!! I did it!!!
I did it!!

I have finally completed a diet that I have started. I am officially done with my 10 day water fast!!! You cannot possibly understand how happy I am to be putting something in me besides water! The last 10 days have probably been the hardest 10 days of my life!!! 

Now don't let me scare you off. I do believe that part of the hardship of the water fast was my own doing. I think I was overdoing drinking my magnesium capsules trying to clean myself out faster. Well, that weakened me, thus made it a really hard 10 days, ESPECIALLY since I couldn't just lay around the house all day. I actually had to get up at 5:30am and head off to work for the day. That was really hard.

But I am very happy (and a little proud) to announce that I am done. I am very grateful that God heard all my silent cries and pleas for help and strength and that He gave it to me. Also, Jenni, once again, had to listen to ALL my whining and complaining. Poor girl.. lol... 

You should have seen me enjoy my 1st cup of broth this morning. You wouldn't have that it was the most amazing food in this world by the way I was drinking it. And this morning, it WAS the most amazing food in the world cause I was actually able to have it!!


Work was a bit hard today. Why? Cause we had the Employee Appreciation BBQ. I had to set it all up, monitor it, and then clean it all up WITHOUT putting a single piece of food in my mouth...

I'll give you an example of what was on the table:





What made the lunch great was that the General Manager announced me as the Employee of the Month!! This is the 1st time they chose an employee, and I was the 1st one! I felt kinda good 

Since I couldn't eat at work, I brought some of the food home for my family, and made them quite an nice dinner. I would have just LOVED to bite into it!!















 That would be a yummy, juicy hamburger, served with veggies. On the side we have some very healthy Sweet Potato Chips with Sea Salt. And for dessert, we have a scrumptious fruit salad. Now, who can honestly (besides Jenni) say that they would not like this dinner?? I know I sure would LOVE it!!

Ok. Well.. I think that's enough details for all of you for now. It's Friday, so I am going to go relax, drink some broth, drink some tea with honey and spend my time with my family. 

Oh.. this morning, I weighed:163.8! That's 28.2 pounds lost!! Only 8.8 pounds to go to reach my 1st real goal of 155!!

Juice Cleanse Day 36 Water Fast Day 10
MY LAST DAY ON THE WATER FAST!!!

Yesterday was my very last day on the water fast. I couldn't wait for the hours to pass and yet they seemed like they were just dragging and taking forever!! I felt pretty good all day. During lunch I went to Huckleberry's to buy my ingredients for the Borsch I would make.

I got home, and once again watched my family enjoy their dinner. For dessert, they got to savor some absolutely amazing Blueberry Muffins that my sweet sister Jenni baked and dropped off for them.


I was really excited to cook my borsh, cause that meant I was just hours away from actually being able to put something in my mouth besides water!


These are the ingredients that made up my borsh: (99% of them Organic)
1 1/2 beets with greens, 1/2 red pepper, 1/2 green cabbage, 1 whole onion, 3 garlic cloves, a small bunch of dill and 2 (14.4 ounces) cans of diced tomatoes

I made my borsh and then just smelled it as I waited for the time to go by. I actually ran away to bed sorta early so that I could fall asleep faster, thus morning would get here soon and I could enjoy my broth!!

And that's how my 10th day on the water fast passed...
Juice Cleanse Day 35 Water Fast Day 9
I've been scolded for not blogging... I missed 1 day for goodness's sake!! I'm a sick woman.. lol... and I just don't feel like getting behind the computer after sitting by one for 8 hours... but I'm glad to know people wait for my next post.. lol... I feel kinda popular...

This will be a short post. Not much to write. I feel like crap. Seriously, I feel absolutely lousy. I could barely move at work today, I felt like I was just gonna pass out. 

Food is constantly on my mind. That's like all I think about. That's even what I dream about. Last night, I had a dream about breakfast sandwiches. Let me tell ya, they were amazing!! I so wish I could have one!! 

I just want this over and done with. I have another 5 days to go, and I can start eating again. Nothing fancy, but I am actually looking forward to munching on a variety of fruits and veggies.

My last day on the water fast is tomorrow. I gotta go grocery shopping and get the ingredients I need to make Borsh.. cuz Friday and Saturday, that's what I'll be living on. Water, tea (with honey) and broth... that will get my stomach better prepared for the fruit & veggie juice I will start putting in there come Sunday. I can't wait to taste something besides water. 

I have been p**ping a lot lately. Like 3-5 times a day. Makes me feel cleaner each time.. lol... but I am still taking 3 magnesiums a day... Not gonna take any tomorrow. Gonna let my body rest and see if it can function on its own.

Well, that's all the update for now. I gotta go get ready for torture.. more torture that is. We are going over to my mother in laws house for dinner in just a few minutes. And of course, what am I going to be doing there? Sitting. And crying inside. I hope it won't be too bad, but it usually is. She usually cooks up a feast and the smells are amazing, not to mention the tastes!! 

Another torture I gotta get ready for is this Friday. We are having our monthly BBQ. I am in charge of it, thus have to deal with all the food. I think I just might burst into tears. I absolutely love these meals. There is so much variety and everything just tastes amazing. I guess I will just have to focus on how much weight I have lost. Hopefully that'll help me get through it.

This morning I weighed in at 165.2, that puts me at a totally weight loss of 26.8 so far!! Not bad!!


UPDATE!!! 
This is what I had to sit through at my mother in laws house. I can't believe she did this to me. She made Russian Manti (which are ABSOLUTELY my FAVORITE food EVER!!!)
And then, there were also Chebureki!!
AND THEN there was also oven baked chicken!!
These were just the main dishes. I'm not even going to go into details about the sides and desserts that were there. This was a very, very sad evening for me. I actually asked my mother in law "Why did you do this to me?" And she replied something to the extent of "What? Hey, I bought you some veggie juice."
I guess that was sweet of her.. lol

By the way, I took these pix of off Google Images. I needed to show all you people who don't know anything about Russian food what I am talking about so it makes a little more sense : )
Juice Cleanse Day 33 Water Fast Day 7
It was so hard to get up this morning when my alarm went off at 5:30am. I really do dislike Mondays. 
I also dreaded going to work today because I really did not want to listen to anymore BS from my coworkers. (Actually, it's only like 3 of them that give me garbage, the rest are super supportive. But you know how the negative outweighs the positive) So I tried to avoid most of them as much as I could.... but almost towards the end of day, what I dreaded, finally came to pass. One of them asked me "So, did you start eating yet?" I politely said "No" and just walked away. Right then and there I heard the 3 of them just start dissing. I didn't even bother listening to them. Just totally tuned them out. 

I had a hard time being at work today. It was really busy, I only took 1 break and no lunch. Just kept working and working. A bit exhausting. Also, at home its so much easier because if I feel weak, I can just lay down and take a break. Well, obviously, I can't do that at work. I think what makes it EVEN harder is that they are so UN supportive that I have to pretend to feel super duper great. That gets old fast.


This is gross. But I have a LOT of mucous coming down from my nasal passage into my mouth... I spit it out... but then some of it gets stuck and I try real hard to suck it out so that I can spit it out. Well, this has been going on all day, and now my nasal passage area and my throat are really sore and it hurts real bad to swallow. I sure do hope this goes away by tomorrow. Jenni informed me that this is normal (good to know) and that it means that all this mucous is carrying all the dead bacteria and toxins out of my body. I only wrote this gross paragraph in case someone else encounters this and starts freaking out. Don't. Its normal..

I got home to some torture. My husband made 1 my most favorite foods!! 


For those of you that know what this is, I'm pretty sure you agree with me about how DELICIOUS this is!! And for those of you that have no clue what this is, OMG!! You absolutely must try this!! We buy raw (wild) salmon, slice it thinly, then start layering. Salmon, salt, salmon, salt and so on. You let it stand for 24 hours in the fridge, then you mix it up real nice and add some dill, a little chopped onion, maybe some garlic, and oil (we use either olive oil or sunflower oil). And then you just devour it!!! 

So as he was working on the house, I made the boys a light dinner. 

Special thanks to my mom for bringing over the salad you see (in Russian, its called Venegret). I'm not sure what's all in there, but the boys kept raving about how good it was. Sadly I just sat there and watched them. She also brought my husband his very favorite salad Olivye. (It's like a Russian version of the potato salad, but SO much better ; )

I think I am getting really fed up with this not eating thing. Cause today, as I watched them, not only was I sad, but I was also very angry. I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

Not much else to write about today. I gotta do some studying and figure out how to get off this water cleanse safely and then also how to get off the juice fast... I'm nearing the end, so better look into. Then I gotta iron some clothes. Then if there's time, I think we might watch a few more episodes of Little House on The Prairie (that's our favorite thing to watch right now ; )

Anyway.... so wait till my next post (hopefully tomorrow)

OH!!

I almost forgot!! I weighed in this morning. And I was really thinking that since I p**ped so much out that my weight would really drop by this morning. No so. I was really shocked at how little it fell!! Not even a pound! I weighed in at 167.6... So that's about a 1/2 pound weight loss... oh well...
Juicing Day 32 Water Fast Day 6
Written regarding Sunday, October, 23, 2011
Posted on Monday

I didn't sleep well last night. I had a hard time falling asleep, then would only be like 1/2 asleep. I don't like those kinds of nights. 



Got up this morning and was really hoping to have lost another 3 pounds or so like yesterday. Well, that didn't happen. I'm still happy though cause I lost 1 pound. So now I weigh 168.2. Not bad ; )

I realized just now that I have been a bit on the irritated side. Yesterday, I was quite irritated for about 1 hour, then fine again. Today, it's been pretty much all day. No one does anything to make me mad, but I just feel annoyed and easily angered. Kinda like I'm pmsing.. Except for the fact that I'm not. Hopefully it's my hormones clearing out & I'll feel better real soon.

I started this juice/water fast/cleanse wearing size 12 pants/jeans (in women's/misses.. Not sure what they are). I am now very happy to report that they are officially way too big on me. I can no longer wear them and be ok with how they look.. Cause they look horrible. Just hang loosely everywhere. Eew. I am now in size 10's!!! Remember, my goal is to be in size 8's... So I am closer to my goal! Woohoo!!!

I also tried on my swimsuit top yesterday. It's a tankini from Victoria's Secret. I ordered it online &  can honestly say it never fit me properly. It was a bit small from the very beginning and then as time went on &  I gained more and more weight, it just didn't fit me at all. I dreaded going swimming (and thus would only squeeze into this thing if I really had to). Anyway. I tried it on yesterday, and it went on easily. I think this is the best it has ever fit me. I still am not too happy with the way it looks, but I wouldn't hate wearing it if I needed to. So that's a definite plus!! I am so looking forward to buying a new bathing suit for next year!!!

In the evening we went to my parents house. And that was really hard. Everyone was just sitting there munching. My mom baked a cake and my dad smoked some amazing fish!! It was so hard to just sit there on the couch while everyone enjoyed the food. I asked my dad if he would smoke me some fish for when I am done with this fast/cleanse, so I am definitely looking forward to that.

As you all know by now, I have BM issues. I have been trying to clean that area of my body for sometime know... I am taking 3 magnesium capsules every morning, but it just doesn't seem to be kicking in as well as it should. Don't get me wrong, if you don't have sever issues like me, then it works wonderful. But I need something stronger at this moment in time.


So today, I resorted to my trusty old friend "Smooth Move". 

It's an organic laxative tea. I took it around 4:30pm, and it finally kicked in between 8 or 9 pm. Then I was in and out of the bathroom for about an hour. I finally felt clean.

And then the day ended....
Juice Cleanse Day 31 Water Fast Day 5
Well, to my great surprise and amazement... I lost like 3 pounds over night!!!
I weighed in at 169.2!!! WoW!! I was so shocked!!! It has been a joke in my family for the last 7 years now that 169 is the weight I ALWAYS get pregnant at... no matter what weight I'm at I always go to 169, then get pregnant. It's like my fertile weight or something.. lol.... So today everyone was making jokes about me getting pregnant. Not gonna happen... lol

Today was a really, really good day (with a few hard parts scattered in it). Started off the day by taking my boys out to breakfast. That was really fun, but really hard at the same time. Their food smelled SO amazing. And they enjoyed it so much. But they were all being sweet and telling me how sorry they were that I couldn't have any. Such thoughtful boys...

Right after that my sister in law Luda and I went shopping in a few "licensed professionals only" stores. She's the licensed professional, not me.. lol.. I needed some "salon like" products for my hair, so that was a fun little shopping trip. Got some great products (as natural as possible, of course)... can't wait to try them out and see how good they are.


After that, I went and did some clothes shopping on my own. I was a bit tired (I mean, have you tried living on JUST water? lol, so don't judge ; ) Anyway... I did some shopping. Pants have ALWAYS been an issue for me. I can always find the perfect fit... but it is 99% of the time too short. That's why I hate pant shopping. But I have to do it.. So I got a few little things (mainly for the boys) and a really super cute blazer for me. Love it!!

When I got home, I rested for just a bit and then starting making the chili that I needed ready for that evening. That was a really fun thing to do. My oldest son David was a great help! It was really fun cooking with him. I couldn't taste what I was cooking, so I just kept praying that God would make it taste wonderful. And from the comments I got about it from the people that ate it.. God did make it taste wonderful.

THEN... we got ready and headed over to Jenni & Valiks house for the evening. Vovachka and I were heading out for a date, and they would be babysitting our boys. 



The rest of the evening was just wonderful. We dropped off our boys and headed to the mall to spend some time walking around (got some shopping done before the movie. I was quite happy to buy 2 pairs of long enough pants). At the mall, there are TONS of food places. We passed a (not so fancy) Chinese Buffet and it smelled so freaking good. I love Chinese food!!! You should have seen me. I just walked up to the window where all the food was, and just stood there looking in like a sad, hungry little puppy. It was horrible. My stomach actually started hurting from the hunger pains.. but it went away as soon as we went away.

We watched the new movie called Courageous. OMG!! What an amazing movie!! I recommend everyone go see it! Super good, and right to the point! Loved it!!

After we got home, it was real close to midnight. Put the boys to bed. And since we didn't go out for dinner on our date since I cant eat, Vova was hungry. So he made himself a bowl of chili with chips and sour cream and sat down to eat it. I just watched him for a few minutes, devouring the food with such pleasure.. I couldn't stand it anymore, and ran away to bed. And that concluded my 31st day on the juicing cleanse, and my 5th day on the water fast.

Great day. Great results. Great everything!!

Juice Cleanse Day 30 Water Fast Day 4








Where do I even start blogging about today.. Wow.. what a day!!

I woke up at 5:30am and was trying to decide whether or not I felt up to going to work today. I decided I must go. Eew. It took so long to get ready. I would do something, then have to sit for a few minutes. Get up, do a little more. Sat back down. So it was a long, tiring process, but I made it!

I knew that I would get crap from my coworkers for my "sick day", I just didn't know they would go off at me as soon as I entered the office. There is a lady in the office who is probably as UN healthy as you can possibly be. I have NEVER seen her eat ANYTHING nutritious. I think all of her food is processed, she's had a bunch of her insides removed, AND she LIVES on pill and coffee. As soon as I came into the office, she went off at me at how UNHEALTHY I am and I need to quit this horrible diet NOW. I am killing myself. I couldn't not believe she was lecturing me on nutrition!! I just looked at her, and walked away. She is not someone you can argue with, she'll eat you alive.. lol..

So throughout the day, for the most part, I felt pretty much ok. Not horrible. I had my moments when I got up too fast and almost fell over.. but I managed to make it through 8 and 1/2 hours at work. SO thankful that its Friday!! Every once in a while some very annoying, ignorant co worker would come up and give me crap for what I was doing. It was SO irritating. I couldn't wait to get out of there just so I wouldn't have deal with their BS anymore. As if they know anything about health. They all eat crap, most of them are almost alcoholics that survive on horrible energy drinks during the day and smoke. I am sorry, but I am not going to take health advice from people like that. If they are gonna talk the talk, then they need to walk the walk. And they don't.

I was happily surprised this morning when I got on the scale. It showed a number that I have been wanting to see probably since I started this cleanse. (it was 4 ounces short of being the perfect number, but I'll forgive it, lol)

That puts me at a total loss of

as of this morning... 4 more ounces and Anna owes me a Jumba Juice.. lol!!

The numbers were a very nice sight in such uncomfortable days. I was very glad to be uplifted.

I took 3 magnesium capsules yesterday.. it took a while for them to kick in and they didn't really "clean me out". I had a BM, but it wasn't all that much : / gross.. can't believe I'm actually writing about it... So far today, nothing more.. If I don't go again by tomorrow morning, 3 more capsules of magnesium it is...

I am hoping to officially hit my 20 pounds lost mark tomorrow... That'll be exciting!!

Well... Off to relax for the evening.. gonna finish up my water and just relax with my family.


Oh!! I took some pix in the work bathroom again today... thought I'd post them so you'd see how I look 19.6 ounces thinner...



I guess this isn't my most "revealing" outfit to show my thinness.. but it'll have to do for now...

Then I took another one to show how big my pants are. These used to fit me PERFECTLY (were a little tight right of the dryer).. now this is what they look like out of the dryer... I think I'm really considering going shopping for some pants this weekend.. but we'll see...


OH!! I almost forgot!! 

As I was leaving work... (this is so embarrassing!!)... I was walking to my car through our Used Car Lot.. and I tripped over the fence and fell!!! Yes, you read that right.. I FELL!!! I haven't done that in ages... I was mortified!! I just got up and quickly walked to my car in a lot of pain... Now that I am sitting here, it hurts really bad to bend my knee and there is a huge bump on there!! Ugh. As if I need more pain at this point.. lol... 

That's it. All my news for today...
Juice Cleanse Day 29 Water Fast Day 3
What an absolutely horrible 24 hours it has been. I didn't know what to do with myself. Like I said in my previous post, I went to bed at 9pm thinking that I could sleep through the crumminess and wake up feeling perfect. Let me tell ya, that is not what happened!

I kept waking up from time to time due to all the aches and pains running through my body. I even went to the bathroom to puke a few times, but nothing came out. Back to bed I went. Back to the bathroom. Finally, I had had enough. I know this sickness is caused by me detoxing further. And I have not had a BM in the last 2 to 3 days. I knew that I was clogged and the toxins were not exiting my body, but just floating around inside me, making me feel horrible. I decided to take things into my own hands. Let me warn you, it did NOT turn out the way I planned. 

When I was doing the master cleanse, I was told to drink 2 teaspoons of Pink Himalayan Sea Salt with 32 ounces of water. 


The salt does not separate from the water, and thus it flushes you out within an hour. So here I am standing in the kitchen at like 1:30 am, alternating between 1/4 teaspoon of salt (I need 8 of these) and gulping water. The 1st few teaspoons went down OK. Then it got harder and harder. As soon as I gulped the 5th teaspoon down, it all just came back. I barely made it to the bathroom, and I just started puking. Horrible, salty, painful puking. I expected to see some sort of toxins.. (lol, not sure what they would look like).. but all I saw was pure clear water, with tiny little specks of the pink salt. Just a few specs though. So I knew the salt was still in me. So I chugged a bunch more water thinking that it'll still kick in and flush me out the other end (which is what I was hoping for in the first place).



I finally went back to be close to 3am. Surprisingly I slept well. At 5:30am my alarm went off. I got up to turn it off and almost fell over. I was so weak and dizzy I had to stand there for a while just to not fall. That's when I knew for sure I couldn't go to work. At 6am I texted my coworker and explained my situation and told her I was not coming in today... So back to bed I went.

It is now 10:30am. I must say, I do feel a little better, but definitely NOT euphoric. I guess I'm more toxic than I thought. Sucks. I am still clogged. No flushing effect. I took 3 magnesium and chugged more water at around 9am.... still nothing. I am telling you. Something is definitely wrong with my gut/intestines/colon area. It is NOT normal for a person on a water fast to be clogged. According to everything I have read, as soon as you start a water fast/cleanse, you are supposed to be cleaning out every few hours. Um.. yeah. This is my 3rd day and I still have not had a BM. Its so annoying. Hopefully this water cleanse will heal whatever issue I am having.

My husband will be working on the house again today, so the kids and I are going to Jenni and Valik's house for the day. I mean what difference does it make if I lay on their coach or my own? It'll be nice to be distracted from the crummy feeling. Alyona is gonna be there too with her boys, so it should be fun.

I'll update later this evening and let you know how my day went. Hopefully it'll be a good update.
Juice Cleanse Day 28 Water Fast Day 2
I woke up at 5:30 this morning and felt WAY more awake than I normally do. Which was really weird,
seeing how we went to bed later than usual. But I also learned that when you are water fasting, your
body is not digesting anything, so it doesn’t get as tired and most people are only able to sleep like 4
hours a night… we’ll see if that’s the case for me. I guess I’ll be able to get caught up on a lot of loose
ends



Also, this morning.. I am kinda achy all over. My lower back really hurts. And I am cramping as if I were
on my monthly cycle thingy.. (I am like 2 weeks away from that time though). I just have random aches
and pains. When I was researching the water fast, I learned that since your body is not digesting, it has
plenty of time to go off and heal you. So it is perfectly normal to feel aches and pains. Its actually a good
sign. Means I am healing.. yeah!!

I was quite swollen this morning, but felt really dehydrated. But I still decided to risk it and get on the
scale. To my great amazement, I lost 2 pounds from yesterday!! So I am down to 


which is a total of


pounds lost thus far. Very exciting!!!

I feel like crap today. It’s a weird crappy feeling. Just kinda tired and almost like I might faint sort of a
feeling. The aches and pains just kinda roam my body… I am not hungry, but I feel the same way I did
when I used to eat, if I didn’t eat for a while, I’d feel like I’d pass out. I didn’t feel like this on the juice
fast at all… so I guess I ran out of all my stored food already. I guess it’s normal to have a crappy 2nd day on
the water fast and then day 3 and on should be almost euphoric from what I hear.. looking forward to
that. But right now, I just wanna curl up on my couch and either read a book or watch some TV. But no.
I’m at work. For another 4 hours..


Update: I felt worse and worse as the day went on. I came home and from 4:30pm till 9pm I just laid on the coach. Dozed off for a bit.. Then just laid there some more. Went to bed at 9pm... kept waking up. My whole body was hurting and my head was throbbing horrible. I also kept getting waves of nauseousness. Horrible, Horrible feeling. This might be the worse I have felt since I started this whole fast/cleanse 28 days ago. And I thought I had already detoxed. Yeah, right.
Juicing Cleanse Day 27 Water Fast Day 1
So I started my new journey this morning. My 10 day water fast journey that is. I weighed in this morning and was really quite shocked. STILL the scale will not budge!! I don't know what's going on. I was really hoping to get down to my 15 pounds lost mark, but I'm still a whopping 4 ounces away from that. I'm just stuck at 177.4. Well, better than the scale going up I guess 


On to my day.. Not too bad. I did feel quite a bit of hunger pangs that I have NOT been feeling while juicing. It wasn't too uncomfortable. I just drank some more water. My goal is to drink 2-64 ounce containers of natural Spring water a day...

I lied about NOTHING but water entering my body when I blogged yesterday. I came down with a cold of some sort, so this morning I took a few drops of Vitamin D.. Then at work I was super cold, so I made myself some green tea.. No honey or anything. So it's not like I cheated, but just being honest with you.

The only two "side effects" that I've had today have been that I have been absolutely freezing all day. There have been moments where I would just start shaking I was so cold. Um.. At work, kinda embarrassing... and the other one was my own stupidity. The green tea I mentioned above? Yeah, not a good idea. I drank just a little bit of it and the caffeine hit me so hard and so fast that I got a headache!! It was quite a bad headache and lasted a long time... I guess until I drank enough water to flush the caffeine out of my system. So yeah... won't be doing that again... 

Other than that, a great day!! After work I even came home and made dinner again for my family. And yet again, I just sat there and watched them. This is probably the hardest part. Sitting there, smelling the food, and watching everyone enjoy it. I don't know why I don't just go to another room during that time. I'm weird, I know...

After their early dinner, I took the boys to the park while my husband continued working on our remodeling project. The boys and I took a 30 minute walk/jog. I know you're not supposed to exercise while water fasting, but I guess I wanted to see how it would make me feel. For the most part I felt totally normal. A few times I could feel myself get very tired, but that just lasted a few seconds and then I was fine again. It felt good to do a tiny bit of exercise. I've been missing it.

After the park we went and did a little bit of food shopping. And grabbed a pizza for a late dinner. Man oh Man. This was hard!! I LOVE pizza!! And yet, once again. I tortured myself and just sat there and watched them enjoy it. I was happy for them.. sad for me.. lol.

And that concludes my day. So far, so good. I can't believe it has already been 27 days since I've actually eaten anything. Wow!!
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    Spokane, WA, United States
    I am blessed to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mom to 3 amazing boys!! God has blessed me and I am forever grateful! My 1 struggle in life has been my weight... its a hard burden to carry.

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